How long can you avoid Mid-life crisis?

I can't believe that I am already a resident of this planet for the past 30 odd years. The movie Interstellar sort of bent my thinking a bit. Esp about the fact that our senses or the neural system cannot detect the dimension known as time. Even though we know that the position of an object changes in the X, Y or Z directions, we can never sense the change in time. The absence of this sense stops us from moving between two points in time or rather let's say - we just keep moving in one direction without a control.

Nah, i don't want to write another science fiction post here. I am just going to dump by brain on the title of this post - that is the symptoms of a mid-life crisis.
You see, I started my life with the least number of friends and I was a part of a silo life - living with my mom. Slowly, I started making friends, I started moving out to different places. Things got to a point where I would battle time to give time to people.

Things have dramatically changed in the past 2 odd year esp the last one. Here I list down 3 categories where I point out 3 types of varieties for each category.

Facebook.
 
I login to Facebook and I see posts of 3 different nature:

1. People outside India on Onsite. They never talk about the work you do, but it does tell you that the west is a far more cleaner place and we Indians boast of posting photos. We even seem to have more knowledge about such places than of our very own country.

2. People getting married or posting about a birth of a child.

3. People talking about a topic that gives them an easy access to blame the system or the society. These people take a pot shot at social issues by putting in harsh words and pretend to make a change by writing a few words on social media.

Friends

1. People who are married. It solely depends on the stage of their marriage.  But in general they are inter twined in their own little lives so much that they wouldn't care about not making up to some place. They have a way to blame it on their wives.

2. People who are frustrated coz they are not married. These people are not married and they don't want to make any efforts to get married either. The resultant is seclusion and mood swings from time to time.

3. A rare breed of unmarried, free willed, youthful people. These guys are self contained and they mean fun. I have seen this 3rd category shift towards the 2nd one very rapidly with age.

Myself

1. All of a sudden, i want to earn more and more money. I seem to have started acknowledging that 'savings' and earning good money in life are very important. It's important to gather assets and then sit over them till you die.

2. Laptops and Mobile phones are my best buddies. All of my friends have turned electronic and I don't use the phone to call them anymore, I type to them.

3. I have more 'practical' dreams. Dreams are meant to be unrealistic - that's why they are called dreams. What's the use of dreaming - 2 kids and 3 bungalows after 10 years. That seems cliché and something everyone associates themselves with. But i seem to be giving in.


So as you see it, the mid-life crisis is dawning on me, coz slowly but surely - the contagious effect is succumbing me to it.

2014 - the year that wasn't!

2014 has been a very mixed year. I got promoted earlier in the year at work without much benefits. I bought a house in the 2nd half of the year but had to toil the heck out for the home loan. Now I almost know why things move so slow in Kolkata. It's in the grass roots of things. Anyway - this year would be remembered more coz I lost my dream of becoming a musician. I lost the power to put forward a case where I could find a viable reason to ask others to stay in Bangalore and pursue this so called delusional dream of ours. However at the same time, we released our 3rd studio album this year and also for the first time ever in my life - we came on National TV coz MTV aired our music video over and over again.

Ugh, with the band - we touched some great highs this year - but by the time we made the jump - we had already lost the battle. I became a little insensitive about music. I can feel it every single day. I'd not be able to live a single day without  listening to the songs I loved, but now - I open youtube and I don't know what to type in there. I have probably spent the most amount of time with my laptop and on my phone that any other year. I spoke on whatsapp more than I spoke in person or over phone. I tried to get back in shape towards the latter part of the year but it's a hard job given the amount of junk i consumed during the first half.
3 of my patents got filed this year and I got some capital to invest in the house I bought.

Mom is going to go for a BIG transition next year coz of her retirement and I'd probably be tying the knot for a new beginning. On one hand, 2014 has been a year of broken dreams. On the other hand, this year gives me a hope for the future. A future that probably awaits me in 2015. I expect things to change for the better. Whilst my 20s have been about building a tomorrow for myself and my mom, my 30s would be about exploring the beauty of life.

So now - coming to the part of what I would want 2015 to be. Well, I have a set of goals and the seeds of rebirth are planted this year itself. So here it goes:

1. I'd like to return to music. I'd like to return music in a conscious way. Doing things like never before. I want to learn the Piano and by mid/end next year I should be good with the keys. I'd like to write more of poetry and music.

2. I'd like to be with my mom for a longer period than any of the last 7 years. She misses me a lot but now that she'd be retired - I'd try to get her to Bangalore to spend some good time.

3. I'd like to make at least one foreign trip. My post 30 years should be about exploring the world like I said. I'd like to go on trips, trips and trips with my buds.

4. I'd like to kill the boredom of being alone, precisely would like to get married. They say - life, death and marriage are 3 things in a man's life where one has no control. But you see, life and death are inevitable...

5. I'd like to excel at work. Something I have managed to do over the years. But the difference this year would be to create an impact where I am recognized outside my company's recognition.

2015 shall be the year to return to things. To love people more, to stay connected with friends, to bring happiness in our world and to kick some butt for god sake!

'Coz I am happy!

I have always been obsessed with the sky. I remember my childhood, during powercuts - Maa would ask me to sit down on "uthoon" - under the open skies and i would pretend to study. I was more keen on looking up literally than looking down. Looking up was full of mysteries - unanswered questions that seemingly would never end like the universe and looking down would mean - looking at things that would always hold me down to a limited space - a limited set of thoughts. How true is that about life?

Today i was talking to my Mashi. My young cousin sister Gudiya is going through her days of finding the right career path. She is filled with a bunch of premonitions and apprehensions. She relies on a lot of conceived beliefs from his brother and then there are thoughts that concur it. I would advice her to be courageous. Never have a feeling that she can't do something coz she is not meant to do something. There's nothing like that in this world. It's a ecosystem problem, more subjective to your first degree of contact - people in your innermost circle of friends/family. I think if i can instill that confidence in her that she can do something - just by proper planning - there will be no turning back. So i told Mashi that she shouldn't give up JEE. The pure sciences and BSc is a good thing to do - but engineering is always this inverted funnel - it's tough to get in - but very easy to get out. They fear the engineering market shrinking in the future. If you ask me - it never can and never will.

So i came up with this classic case using which i tried to defend my case. Today in Indian Railways - we have still a lot of paper handwritten work that's being done. However, my mom tells me that it's becoming mandatory for people to know computers and basic working with it - going forward. What does that show? It shows evolution - even though all that Railways needs to do is follow a well discovered path - which has been tried and tested already by others in the world. But evolution none the less. It gets to show now - that those things which took 2 days to complete, will take barely 2 hours. The internet has transformed the way we live our lives. I think it's the most precious discovery post the stone age era. But there's a hazard - and obvious hazard and mind you - the unions wouldn't like it. If you start doing work faster - you will loose out on employment. Everything will start taking care of things of it's own and there would be reduced human intervention. Hence those who can't adapt - in this case - acquire the necessary skills - will perish. Those who will adapt are the ones who will survive and by the way - they will survive in the most coveted way - imagine the first person in a village who learned to send e-mails.

So i told her - to not for see things 4 years in advance and be the future predictor, instead learn the skill to adapt. Studying engineering/history/geography or spirituality - will all yield you what you want - if you know how you want it and if you know how to 'adapt'. Talking of adaptation - I am sick of what I am adapting to - a life without music - mundane thoughts and Pharell. Till the next time i comeback - i am going to stay happy, listen to a lot of music, sing my lungs out and eat hell lot of momos!